A New Year

Why is it that an arbitrary date in the path of the sun inspires me with a sense of newness, expectation and creative energy? Perhaps it is because January 1 falls at the end of a long holiday and that I have had a bit of time to wind down from all of the activities and expectations of Christmas. Perhaps it is that same 'summer vacation' feeling from childhood - that last year is gone and next year will be better or different. Perhaps it is just writing in a new year on the top line of my checks.

Whatever the reason, when I look back I think in terms of years and, like most people, tend to lump the ups and downs all together into a summary assigned to a number. 2005 was the year my business took off nationally. 2006 was the year I lost both my dad and my grandma and slid into depression. The fact that I climbed out of the whirlpool of emotions that threatened to drown me by mid summer doesn't matter - 2006 will always live in my memory as when I gave up on my business, my family, myself. 2007 was a year of rebuilding and rediscovering myself - 3 steps forward, 1 step back.

And last year, 2008, is the year I realized anything is possible! Yes, I had some set backs and yes, I worked very hard and very long hours... but all of the work, the ups and downs, the self doubt, the accolades came together into a year of bursting creativity. I wrote and self published EYE FOR COLOR with my dear, and very talented, friend Joie Moring (with invaluable help from Kiki Meyers, Diane Ahern, Susan Leonhardt Reynolds and my family) and am under contract with North Light Books to write a book about freeform beadweaving and color!

A colorful team!

In fact it all started on New Years Day - a year ago. I dropped my aunt off at the airport and on the drive back had a sense of anticipation and bursting excitement. I had been entertaining the idea of writing a book (in that wishful place in the back of my mind - the one with lots of ideas, and lots of self doubt). Knowing this, my husband gave me some self publishing books way back in August (for my birthday). I was finally reading Dan Poynter's The Self Publishing Manual over the holidays and he recommended a visit to the book store to assess where my book would be and to see what grabbed me. So I spontaneously pulled off the freeway and into Barnes and Noble. Two books leaped off the shelf: Michael deMeng's: Secrets of Rusty Things and Sally Jean Alexander's Pretty Little Things. The colors are scrumptious (which is enough for me to buy a book), the layout, the paper, the mix of instructions with inspirations - everything I would want in my own book. It wasn't until I brought them home and poured through all of the pages that I realized the publisher, North Light Books and editor, Tonia Davenport sounded familiar. I had received an e-mail from Tonia a few months back asking if I would consider writing a book... talk about serendipity!

Tonia and I - chocolate martinis at the Bead & Button Show

What will 2009 bring? I have no control over the multitude of external events that can crash down on me, but I do know I have more control over how I react to them. I know it is my choice if I become dashed down and retreat into myself when my work is rejected or when someone doesn't like me. Or I can brush myself off (after just a little dip into self pity!), sit up straight and become determined to do even better the next time... the next year.