Tuesday, December 15, 2009

On the naming of things

If you are offended by, grossed out by, or in any other way turned off by potty talk, then I recommend you read no further.

However for those made of stronger stuff, I offer this.

As many of you know, we have a little cottage on Whidbey Island - see here for a tame blog post (with no mention of potties). It was built over the last 6 months and is ready… or nearly ready for us. Only problem is – we can’t use the toilets. Oh yes the toilets are brand new, in place, work just fine and yes our septic system is in place. However our septic contractor – the one who holds the coveted programming code in the palm of his hand – can’t seem to schedule us in for an inspection. Problem is we already paid him. Yes, I know, fatal mistake. But he required it to start work and he is the only one around with the licensing for our very elaborate, specialized, expensive system (so the water is pure enough to flow directly into the wetlands). He is a monopoly on the island and holds not only that little code, but our bowels in the palm of his hand.

Now a portable toilet is kind-of okay for awhile, but gets (and smells) old very fast. Not to mention the bright blue box in front of the house – a very welcoming gesture don’t you think?

But there is a bit of humor to that bright blue can. The name. Now you have your Sani-Cans, Porta Potties, Honey Buckets (how disgusting) – but none of their founding fathers had the vision (or enough beers) to evoke a laugh out of everyone who, after holding it for as long as possible, finally squinches up their nose, approaches the big blue box and enters the ‘Wizard of Ooze’. Yep. ‘Wizard of Ooze’. After a trip into the big blue box, there is more reason than one why people walk away with a big smile.

Hopefully the septic god will bless us with his appearance before Christmas, or I’ll be forced to put up a string of lights on the Wizard. In the meantime please keep your fingers (and legs) crossed for us that he will show up soon.

P.S. Sorry I didn’t include any photos this time – but thought perhaps there are times for photos and well… times not for photos.


  1. lol... what point is there to life unless you can find humor in it? When you string the twinkling lights on the Wizard, do post a picture!

  2. The Wizard of Ooze..that's hilarious! I guess its not a place for the Cowardly Lion!

  3. See, now I'm going to be almost disappointed if the wizard's not there when I visit... that would definitely be one to add to my list of interesting toilet adventures (one of which includes an elephant, a chicken and a pig) 'cause the name makes all the difference! On the other hand... ;)

    For your sakes, I hope the man with the power sorts himself out soon!

  4. so whilst awaiting the all powerful lord of the loo, you're having to sneak out the back to take a wiz and just for dramatic affect exclaim... 'Weeeee're off! to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Ooze....'

  5. Oh. My.
    The Wizard of Ooze?
    How horribly, terribly appropriate. Eeew.

    But sure did make me giggle! :)

  6. Oh I'm laughing all over the please, think I need to go...can't hold it anymore.

    Sorry notting to laugh about for you guys. I just can't picture you sitting on one of those....hihihihii.

    You know this might be an idea...If the guy does not deliver, you all will....save it up and empty the Wizard of Ooze at his doorstep...I'll bet you he'll be running over to give you the code.

    This is the first time I'm not sad not being at your wonderful place.....yeahaaa..

  7. OMG! If you don't laugh, you'll cry - Wizard of Oooze! Am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for your inspection to happen s-o-o-n! Nothing says "Christmas" like twinkle lights strung across a potty! LOL! Hugs, Terri xoxo

  8. Too funny here in NJ they are called Job Johnnys - I would have loved a photo!!!

  9. Oh I don't know...I'd love to see that picture with the string of lights around it! too funny!
    Good luck with all of that.

    And congrats too on the book arrival!

  10. I have a short porta potty story. A woman I know came out of one once and exclaimed "how nice that they had a shelf for my purse in there!" (She put her purse in the urinal.)